FIC: suburban dream, HP/SS au. *weird*

it came to me in a dream. heavily influenced by.... that fic... that's been recently written. ~_~ kind of JPW-ish but with dead snape and waff......... plus that other fic that's been around where harry buys snape in a slave auction...

anyway. it came to me in a dream. and then it was in the back of my mind sort of kind of all day, and then i settled down to sleep and it DEMANDED TO BE WRITTEN!!!! presumptuous little snipe!

so i'm not responsible for this. not even my muse; i think she's sipping martinis in Dis... No, this is all my unconscious. ~_~ damn you, freud.

The Kid Speaks:

I remember Mum passed out over the steering wheel, her rich brown hair shining in the street light. And Dad said, ‘Come on, Jim,’ and moved me to his SUV. Mum stirred, moaned and whinged, and I didn’t want to leave; I was scared. But Dad held out his hand and said she would be ok. ‘You’ll be fine, Pansy,’ he murmured to her shuddering brown curls.

But he didn’t say that.

And he didn’t reassure me she would be ok.

He just smiled and led me to his car.

She turned up the next morning with her brown eyes red and blazing while me and Dad and Suzy ate our breakfast and Dad looked at her with his blank expression, like he couldn’t understand why she was standing in the entrance to the dining room glaring at him. Until she admitted defeat and dragged herself upstairs for a shower.

There was a lot of miscommunication in our family. Mum thought she and Dad were married. Dad thought they had an economic arrangement. …I’m not sure where me and Suzy fit in.

And then, one day, Dad brought him home.

I thought he was a ghost, or a demon, or a vampire… Those twisted hands and parchment-pale face, black eyes, black hair, black robes like people used to wear. And Dad excited as I’d never seen him, never imagined him before. ‘James, Susan, meet Professor Snape.’ His green eyes liquid fire and full of… full of something. But not for us, for the vampire man wasted away to wax and shroud. And we must not bother him. ‘Don’t be too rowdy around Professor Snape.’ His brow furrowed, his voice deep and serious like the time I broke my arm jumping from the roof of my play house when I was five.

Professor Snape just stared into me with cold, black, fathomless eyes.

If I could have helped it, I wouldn’t have lived in the same house as that monster, let alone get near enough to bother him.

I didn’t really think he would eat me… But he plagued my nightmares. I could never remember them, but the black and the emptiness and the silence and the cold and him… Death. My father was consorting with Death. I took to sleeping in Mum’s side of the house.

Mum scowled and smoke and drank and didn’t say a damn thing. Acted like she couldn’t even see my father’s long, skinny, silent shadow.

And Suzy befriended him.

I’d warned her away, at first. But she was too little to understand, too wicked to listen to me, her boring big brother. She was golden and reckless and… doomed.

I couldn’t count the number of times I’d wished her dead.

My pillows were soaked in salty, sickening guilt.

And the monster… befriended her back.

It took days for me to work up the courage to visit the Tower, as Dad jokingly called it (I never got what the joke was). But finally I crept close and closer, feet sinking into the thick carpet and every creak of the wood underneath stilling my heartbeat… And there she was. Alive. At the monster’s feet. Alive. Scribbling on a piece of paper then holding it up with her most garish smile to get the monster’s approval.

Stretching farther and farther, creeping along the floor… To see the monster smile in return. Just a quirk of the lips, but something almost… warm about him… For my sister’s jumble of mix-matched colours, her wicked sprite grin.

And all of a sudden I knew he knew I was there.

It took minutes for me to breathe again.

And he ignored me.

I knew he was letting me go.

And I sat pressed against the wall just outside his door, gulping air, feeling my heart buzz inside me like a hovercraft at the airshow…. About to lift off, trying not to let tears roll down my cheeks.

He has her.

He. Knows. I’m. Here.

But nothing was happening.

And after a while, I grew drowsy, forgot my terror, and crept off to bed.

…

Mum never got used to Snape, but she got resigned. She let him take over the household management. It gave her more time (and money) for her shopping, for her friends.

Eventually, she got a lover.

He was young and brash and tried to make friends. I didn’t really like him, but he had cool things like a playstation, like a hot red convertible. And he made Mum happy, or at least frantically cheerful rather than obsessive and depressed. She stayed over at his flat on weekends sometimes. Suzy and I were always invited over, but we never stayed the night.

And when she got tired of Jake, there was Ralph, and after Ralph there was Raul, and then Tristan and then Pancho… Suzy liked him; he cooked Turkish and Mexican food.

And one day I realized that Dad and the Professor weren’t just friends. It was like I had known it for years, but never really, never really understood what I was seeing.

Suzy gushed about how cute they were, how she’d eavesdropped on them having sex, how Snape looked dreamy when he looked at Dad and thought no one saw. As though she’d known known for years, from day one when Dad brought him home when she was nine.

The mute, tortured wizard and my Dad.

Derek Malfoy told me stuff, stuff I wasn’t supposed to know, stuff he wasn’t supposed to know that he’d sneaked from his Dad’s records… Stuff about war and those times, before…

Before Dad gave up whatever it was that made him lose the burning in his eyes; and the blank look, the empty smile…

Until Snape.

I almost fucked Derek through the couch; I was so angry he’d told me.

All that stuff I didn’t consciously want to know.

But Mum was (relatively) happy. Dad was… over the moon.

Suzy was friends with everybody. She’d had her first boyfriend before I’d even thought about kissing anybody, and she four years younger than me.

Everybody was un-miserable but me.

Even Derek.

I hated being a teenager; I hated growing up.

But it has to happen sometime.

...

PS the ending is lame i ran out of matter. "_" XP

damn me and my potter-bloodline characters... what the fucking hell.